Sausage Grinder

Moving!

6:38 PM, 17-Jul-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Unlike the Eternally patient Darnell Dickson, I've decided to move my blog someplace else that is compatible with the Web browsers I actually use every day. The tools here don't work properly with Firefox/Safari 3 and what's the point of blogging if you can't add links, images and all the rest of the stuff that distracts from real content?

So go HERE for all your future sausage grinding needs.

Don't mind me.

1:31 PM, 14-Jul-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

We're not USA Today or the freaking New York Times. We're a local paper. We like local response.

I knew it was coming from when the iPhone made its big debut a year ago but I figured maybe it would be different this time. Alas, the local AT&T stores politely declined to say ANYTHING about their iPhone 3G experience.

The best I got was that they were sold out and didn't have any on-hand. Nothing about new stock, nothing about the number they sold.

They did get me the number of corporate AT&T public relations, who I'm sure will be extremely helpful.

A little Northern Exposure

11:33 AM, 9-Jul-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Jason Chaffetz, after filling bags with money this week in Washington, D.C, will be headed to Boston to speak with his good friend Mitt Romney and then off to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to "explore firsthand the viability of energy production in ANWR" with a half-dozen other GOP candidates.

Being from Alaska – me, not Chaffetz – I have a certain love/hate relationship when it comes to oil. I benefited from the Dividend Fund program because of oil revenue. But I also had friends who lost their livelihood when a drunk captain failed to keep his tanker from taking the overland tour of the state. Jerk. (Hazelwood, not Chaffetz.)

Anyway, Chaffetz wants to ease drilling restrictions across the country.

“Reducing the legal barriers to increased domestic oil production can resolve short-term energy needs while the private sector works to develop viable alternative energy sources,” Chaffetz said in a statement.

BREAKING NEWS

Just got off the phone with Mr. Chaffetz. I asked why, with what surely must be hundreds of experts on the matter in DC or Utah or wherever, he needs to actually fly to ANWR and get his boots covered with permafrost.

Said Chaffetz: "It's important – with such a controversial but needed project – to speak with first-hand experience."

We'll see what kind of enlightenment he brings back.

END OF BREAKING NEWS

FYI, Chaffetz's own campaign is paying for the four-day trip.

Reducing your Miley footprint

9:01 AM, 2-Jul-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Before you do anything else, please watch this educational video:

Entertainment Scientists Warn Miley Cyrus Will Be Depleted by 2013

Now go to today's story by yours truly.

Now add two plus two and come up with, like, the super-personal, totally silly answer of: Provo is Ground Zero for the Miley Meltdown.

It's heartbreaking.

(Also, props to Duda for Dutch tulips and Amie for "ingenues".)

Where in the world is Broadweave?

9:29 AM, 30-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

The folks over at Broadweave have a count down going for when they officially take over the iProvo network. There it is, right on their homepage.

13:28.33, 32, 31, 30 ... you get the picture.

In fact, the iProvo takeover has completely, well, taken over Broadweave's Web site. With less than a day left (they're supposed to be signing the paperwork today) what kind of changes can current iProvo customers expect?

Aside from some extremely nebulous (man, I love that word) comments about better phone/TV/Internet service, they have yet to release any information about the Big Switch.

What happens to e-mail addresses? Keep the old ones for a month then switch over? Switch on Day 1? What about static IP addresses? (A kind of permanent Internet address used to better locate servers.) What about business accounts? Do customers have to renegotiate? When?

We started asking ourselves these questions last week and started making calls.

What we got in return was a whole lot of nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. *tumbleweeds* *crickets*

Maybe (as I've heard from a third party) they're waiting to completely own the thing before making announcements, but I'm not sure I buy that. They've already announced buying the entire customers base, helped out customers who got the nasty end of the Mstar meltdown, and have new a pricing list for iProvo customers.

So clearly they aren't nervous about the legalities of an "official" acquisition date.

Broadweave, where are you?

Primary 2008: One more video

12:34 AM, 25-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Here's Chaffetz's comments on Cannon:

Primary 2008: I'm big enough...

11:56 PM, 24-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

... to stand up and say I was WAY off on the 3rd District thing.

20 points? 20 POINTS?!?

There will be a story on Thursday about a group that not only predicated a blow-out, but have the numbers to prove it.

Here's a minute and a half of Chaffetz love (note the whiffed high-five at 48 seconds):

Primary 2008: If it's good enough for Him...

7:11 PM, 24-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Early projected turnout in the Utah County is about 10 percent. I could only shake my head at first, but then it dawned on me: Of course! The Republicans of Utah County are offering up 10 percent of their voters. One tenth! A tithe!

Phew! For a while there I thought perhaps the Republic was dead, stabbed in the back by apathy.

Primary 2008: No hands on deck!

4:40 PM, 24-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

1) Utah County is prepared for a 30 percent turnout today in the primary election.

2) Clerk/auditor Bryan Thompson said Monday he was expecting perhaps 20 percent.

3) Early today, the good folks at the Lt. Governor's offce and Thompson said it was going to be worse than that. Well past Pathetic and into the Miserable category.

That bodes well for Chaffetz, who will likely do better with a lower turnout. Fear not, I'm sticking with my Cannon prediction. By 3. But I won't be surprised if it goes the other way.

Pollsters

3:40 PM, 23-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Geez, with results like this maybe I should go into polling: Dnews says 3rd District "a tie".

The story (which apparently published Saturday but I didn't read until after I'd written my own prediction post) is pretty much in line with my reasoning. Except I don't get paid a premium for it, we don't put a meaningless "copyright blah blah" front and center on my results, and my over/under doesn't get into nutso territory.

The problem is that while the poll shows 44-40 in favor of Cannon, which is close (probably too close), the +/- could result in a 50-35 blowout. I mean, what's the point of even writing a story if the polling is that questionable?

While I'm skeptical of Chaffetz's chances (though it's not impossible), someone has got Cannon's people riled up. They've been pelting me with e-mails for a week about old quotes from Chaffetz's college days, his alleged flip-flops since the convention and how bad his breath smells in the morning. (No, not the last part.) Do they have some numbers that have them scared?

Robert Gehrke over at the Trib's Out of Context says there's perhaps a "whiff of desperation." (Here's the link. It's the "Unbelievable" entry. I'd link it, but this blog editor is not working so well with Firefox 3. Copy/paste blogs.sltrib.com/utahpolitics/)

As I was forced into doing in the prediction post, I'm still going the safe route and saying Cannon will edge this one out. But I won't be surprised if Chaffetz pulls another rabbit out of the hat. I've got that feeling again.

Pyrah's Primary Predictions

9:26 AM, 23-Jun-2008 .. 2 comments .. Link

That headline uses what we in the business call "alliteration." We think we're being clever, but really, any 6-year-old can do it. No, seriously, my daughter pulled off "Don't drop the dress, Dad!" without even trying this weekend.

So in the spirit of using my long-nurtured political expertise to predict something I'm sure my 6-year-old could also do, here's my take on Tuesday's results:

Chaffetz vs. Cannon – U.S. House District 3
The higher the turnout, the better the chances for Cannon. The general population may be grumbling a bit, but not enough to oust a Republican incumbent. In the event of a 30 percent turnout (considered high, God Bless America) it will probably be 53-47 Cannon. Maybe 55-45 if Cannon has a good day.

Low turnout is Chaffetz's best bet. The people who like Chaffetz REALLY like him. But he hasn't raised much money in the grand scheme of things no matter what KSL says. Let me give you an anecdote, another tool journalists use when they think they're being clever: My neighbor is a solid Republican. He's been a delegate at the county convention and has strong political views. But when I was talking to him the other day, he continued to pronounce Chaffetz (Chay-fits) like Cha-vez. When you can't get your base to even pronounce your name correctly, maybe you haven't reached as many people as you should have.

So I'm thinking if the turnout is 20 percent or lower he's in the ballgame. If he wins, it'll be a nail biter.

Richard Ellis vs. Mark Walker – State Treasurer
In the interest of resources, we staked out the District 3 race. That's too bad because the Ellis/Walker shenanigans have proved to be more fun than, well, the 3rd District race. The Trib's Cathy McKitrick has done a bang-up job of following the story that Walker secretly offered Ellis a job with a massive pay raise – which is illegal. Funny thing is that Walker – a legislator – has the backing of some pretty powerful people, including John Valentine, Mark Shurtleff and others.

I'm thinking Ellis takes it in a squeaker.

––––––––––––––––––––––––

My prediction record isn't perfect, but I did quiet well here so who knows?

Classic

2:17 PM, 17-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Sometimes it pays to be at county commission meetings. Then again it also pays to be a county commissioner.

Commissioner Steve White was out of town this morning but wanted to participate electronically so he could register his vote against the pay increase.

By 9:10 a.m. he hadn't called in, so Commissioner Larry Ellertson gave him a call and from our side the conversation went a little something like this:

"Hi Steve. How are you this morning?"
[pause]
"Are you going to participate in this meeting with us this morning?"
[pause]
"It's Larry. Larry Ellertson."

It was good for a laugh, which proved beneficial considering the public ass-kicking the commission gave the Herald for it's editorial this morning. Now, I don't write editorials, and the commission made sure to suck up to me and the Dnews reporter which was a little depressing.

I mean, I need a good tongue lashing now and again. Anyone? Anyone?

Can I go back to writing briefs now?

8:48 AM, 16-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

It's nice to finally get these monkeys off my back:

Chris Cannon

and

Jason Chaffetz

No, no – the stories. The stories are the monkeys. What kind idiot do you take me for?

The stories are long and have quite a bit of detail, but there's always discussion about how much detail and what kind should be in it. Do we include stands on a dozen issues each and their detailed (or not) approach to solving them? In the case of Rep. Cannon, do we include his specific voting record? How much of it? All 12 years?

We decided mostly write about who these guys are and why they do what they do. Their web sites – Chaffetz and Cannon – can get into the painstaking details of votes or issues. We did get into some general policy discussion, but for the most part we want readers to know what makes these guys tick.

FYI, these guys are also apparently really ticked at each other.

Check out the KUED debate from Friday in which poor Doug Fabrizio spends most of his time politely telling one or the other to shut up so the other guy can answer the question. (Ego alert: Yours truly gives a little "analysis" at the beginning with BYU political science gurus Kelly Patterson and Quin Monson.)

1958, 2008, whatever

4:05 PM, 10-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

I'm not particularly politically correct. But why is it that anytime a woman is recognized for anything in this state the first thing said by the old(ish) white male officialdom is about their looks.

I saw it time and again at the Legislature and again this morning at the Utah County Commission meeting. The royalty from Pleasant Grove Strawberry Days was there to tout Utah's longest-running festival.

The first thing out of Commissioner Gary Anderson's mouth was "You shore are purdy." (Say it with an aw-shucks accent.)

The royalty laughed politely and after their presentation Commissioner Steve White leaned to Anderson and said "Can you imagine getting up and saying things like that when you were 17?" He then paused before finishing with "I didn't think so."

Instead of taking the opportunity to redeem himself, Anderson said "They didn't make girls like that when I was 17, either."

Anderson seems like a good guy to me, but maybe thinking before going for a quick laugh would have worked better this time.

Vacation entry: Oregon

11:09 PM, 4-Jun-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Just a few quick updates:

I'm on vacation. Anyone care to swing by my place and make sure the basement hasn't flooded? Just kidding, the security system includes machine guns and pits with tigers in the them so I wouldn't recommend going there.

Watched the fourth installment of Indiana Jones today. It was entertaining and probably worth the money, but a few quick things I noticed: Ford and LaBeouf had some great lines but they weren't allowed to deliver them in naturally flowing places. Instead they were forced into places where they were as awkward as a 66-year-old dating a toothpick.

The "Marian" character is a bit too happy. Lots of smiling on screen even during the nasty parts. It's like walking across the BYU campus during womens' week. All those smiles. Creepy. In "Raiders" she's sassy and vulnerable and strong. There are a couple of moments she holds her own in "Skull," but other times ... sigh. The Herald's own Cody Clark says "A" but I'm going to have to go with a nice, solid "B."

Spending time along the Wasatch Front makes one forget that there are places where there's just a city without a dozen cities around it. Bend (pop. 75,000) just pops up out of the high desert after hundreds of miles of open road dotted by a few small towns.

So there was this time that...

1:32 PM, 28-May-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

So there I sat, taking my turn for the Herald covering a high school graduation. I won't mention any names (unless I change my mind later in this post) but a story was recounted to the 500 or so graduates that I feel needs some additional comment.

The speaker launched into a story about a Nerdy Kid carrying lots of books home one day when a group of Cool Kids walked by and knocked them out of his hands. The straggling Cool Kid (who is actually Wonderful Kid in disguise) stops to help Nerd Kid pick up the books.

The two form a casual friendship and Wonderful Kid finds out his new friend enjoys video games and other nerdy things.

Then two weeks before the two graduate years later, Nerd Kid comes up to Wonderful Kid and says "Did you ever wonder, Wonderful Kid, why I was carrying all my books that day oh so many years ago?

"It was because I was taking all my books home before I killed myself. And you saved me because I realized there were good people left in the world."

–––––

Now I don't mind the occasional recounting of a fictional story from an over-hyped book
but the graduation speaker changed the names to Eric and Brian (from Mark and Bill and later on the Intarwebs to Kyle.)

But you're really going to tell me that THAT story is the best one you could come up with? The apocryphal "you-never-know-when-you'll-save-someone-from-suicide" story?

Hundreds of kids are looking for one last bit of wisdom before entering the dark and cruel world (no, I don't really believe that) and there isn't some pivotal moment in your own life or at least a REAL life that can be recounted to the enlightenment or at least amusement of all?

Then again, maybe the senior class that came up with the motto "The Best of the Last" deserves what they got. (If someone can explain that to me, I'll edit this post. But I don't think you can.)

It's like Christmas in May

4:36 PM, 27-May-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

Wasatch Mental Health is holding a fundraiser Wednesday night that's a spin-off of Dancing with the Stars. While there are plenty of reality show gimicks used to raise money and generally embarrass all involved, this one could be particularly enjoyable. County Commissioner Gary Anderson will be a dancer.

Yes, this Gary Anderson:

To his credit, Anderson is going into it with a smile on his face, and he was promoting it like crazy at the commission's Tuesday meeting even though the only non-county folk in attendance were yours truly and a few other jaded reporters.

The event will be at the Covey Center for the Performing Arts with dinner at 5:30 and the show at 7 p.m. The former will cost you $30 and the latter $20 to attend.

Dick's endrosement

5:10 PM, 26-May-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

The state Democratic party sent out a bit last week proclaiming Dick Nourse's support of U.S. House District 3 candidate Bennion Spencer. The two go way back apparently and Bennion has a journalism background, though I'm not sure how that ties in with Nourse. I mean, the guy's got a voice that makes me go weak in the knees and he's got that whole reading off the teleprompter thing down better than anyone this side of Kent Brockman. But journalism?

Questions of definition aside, Nourse has this to say about Spencer: “He is trained to deal with the truth and the facts,” Nourse said. “Gas prices are destroying family budgets. The middle class is being squeezed out of existence. Our schools are overcrowded. Our borders are like sieves. And after billions of dollars building a huge new bureaucracy, all we know about homeland security is that at airports you have to take your shoes off and throw away your toothpaste. All of these are issues … [important to] my friend Bennion Spencer.”

One last thing, I'm pretty sure Nourse lives in St. George. That would be in the 2nd Congressional District. He's not exactly pulling a Chaffetz (damn you Firefox 3 RC1 for screwing up the linking system) but crossing district lines has never much endeared voters who tend to be rather possesive of their candidates.

That being said, a guy who has been a household fixture in most Utahns' homes for nearly five decades might have some sort of influence. Even if it's a Democrat.

Jackie, Jackie, Jackie

3:56 PM, 20-May-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

If you disagree with how your political party is being run, by all means take whatever steps you feel necessary to get things cleared up.

But let me offer a little advice: Double check the names and hit the spell check before you send your letters of complaint to Very Important People.

For the record, Jackie De Gaston has legal issues "concerning 17-year-olds being elected as county delegates and then being allowed to vote at partisan conventions."

De Gaston ran as a Republican against fellow GOPer Curt Bramble for Senate District 16. Her complaint stems from Hannah Lockhart's election as a GOP delegate at the caucuses in April. Young Lockhart is 17 and the daughter of Rep. Becky Lockhart and Stan Lockhart, the state GOP chairman.

Your honor! People's exhibit A in the case of Jackie De Gaston and the Poorly Constructed Letter:

De Gaston apparently sent a letter to both the state Attorney General's Office and the Utah County Attorney's Office requesting clarification of the matter. The latter would be Jeff Buhman, but De Gaston's complaint not only address him as "Jeff Buhmer" but later goes on to call him "Mr. Buhler."

People's exhibit B is apparently correct in the letter to the county attorney but not in the AG's letter. I propose to you that there is a missing vowel in this line:

"The comparison of the Utah State statutes and the Utah Cunty GOP Bylaws raises the following questions of law."

Again, I don't have a dog in this fight (which would make me a questionable reporter, and I have enough problems with that already) and maybe De Gaston is correct to question the Lockhart issue. But as every English teacher in this county has called to tell me on numerous occasions, if you can't get the little things right no one is going to take you seriously on the big things.

Me fail English? That's unpossible!

4:15 PM, 19-May-2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

This just in (my e-mail inbox):

From: Matthew Santos, Government Relations Associate, USEnglish.org
Subject: Jason Chaffetz (UT-3) Pledges to Support Official English if Elected to Congress
Date: May 19, 2008

Washington, D.C. -- U.S. English, Inc. today recognized Jason Chaffetz, a candidate for the Utah's Third Congressional District, for pledging to support official English legislation. To date, Chaffetz has been the only candidate in the district to indicate that he would "sponsor legislation to make English the official language of the United States government" if elected to Congress.

"Jason Chaffetz has demonstrated that he is willing to bring Americans together through the common language of English rather than trying to separate them along language lines," said Mauro E. Mujica, Chairman of U.S. English, Inc. "Mr. Chaffetz's pledge to support English as the official language is a vow to work with the people of Utah on meaningful public policy changes that promote assimilation and English learning."

––––––––––––––––––

My question is, which version of English are we going to use: elitist from the Northeast, hickish from the South, hipish from the West Coast or what-the-effish from Utah?

I kid, I kid!

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